Suicide

This article is for the family and friends of those who have died from taking their own life. It is not from the perspective of trying to prevent suicide. If you know someone who is dealing with this issue please seek help immediately. There are many great resources on-line for information. I will list some at the end of this blog, also please talk to your Pastor and your doctor.

There is so much said about suicide, the Christian community sometimes looks at it as the unforgivable sin, the world may say it's awful and a shame. I certainly have heard all kinds of sentiments.

I believe looking superficially at suicide brings those kinds of thoughts, instead let's go deeper and look at the person, then God.

A person that takes their own life obviously feels that it is the only way out. Their way of escape from suffering, pain, and fear. These are broad categories purposely because the perception of the cause is not really the issue here. In my opinion the person ultimately takes their own life because they have been deceived: they have believed a lie. The issue or problem has become all encompassing and it has blinded the person to truth.

For example: A husband and father finds out he has cancer. It is aggressive and has spread throughout his body. He thinks: "Ok I am dying anyway, the treatment will cost way too much money, the burden on my wife and kids will be too much, I don't want them to see me suffering and I am dying anyway - so the answer is to take my own life", he concludes. Of course this is wrong thinking. His wife and kids would want every possible moment with him. Money would never be their choice over more time but when a person is thinking only about their current situation, when it has become all encompassing, they may not be able to see the right answer. Feelings are so deceiving aren't they? Circumstances can change like the weather yet we can make a life ending decision based on current circumstances real or perceived.

Wrong thinking - very powerful. The thought becomes the very prison we put ourselves in. The deeper we sink in the thought the more all consuming it becomes and before you know it this thought rules everything. All comes through the filter of this thought and so communication becomes faulty.

I believe a person that takes their own life is so full of wrong thinking that they are not in their right mind. In fact they actually are so consumed with their perceived or real problem and what they think is the only solution they can't hear or see any other way.

When I was 26 years old I was falsely accused of making an error at work and fired, the owner told me if I didn't date his son he would find a reason to fire me, I didn't believe him, but he did it. I was a hard worker, good at what I did, I gave it 110%. I had already been through so much hurt and pain in my life, I kept trying to do the right thing and I always got burned. It seemed to me a waste of time to try anymore because people didn't care. They just took and took and did what ever they wanted to get what they desired. I was at the end, exhausted, fed-up and saw no future for myself. So, I purchased a big bottle of vodka and took every pill in my apartment. I gulped down the vodka while sitting on the floor of my living room apartment. I didn't tell anyone. It was just before Christmas. I eventually passed out. I woke up two days later, of course I had vomited all over. I was so sick I could barely move. There I lay, alone sick and a failure...again! I remember crying out to God, "why won't you just let me die"? I thought death was just death, sleep, rest. I thought God hated me.

I can honestly say, I didn't see another option. When I tried to end my life all that I thought of was peace ( wow, what a lie!) it was I thought my only answer. I wasn't thinking of anyone else.

So was my assessment true? I was fired. It was over something that should have never happened, but the truth is I had my whole life to live. This one incident didn't define who I was, but I couldn't see that.

I felt that I needed to write this because I have met people who have had a loved one commit suicide. Everyone of them whether mother, brother or friend felt that they had failed that person and that they should have been able to prevent it from ever happening. I am saying to you that that person was not able to receive the help you wanted to give. So often the person isolated themselves and wouldn't let anyone know what they were feeling. Even if they did, once a persons mind is made up it is difficult to get them to see truth. I am not saying this can never happen, however; it is very difficult to reach someone who is at this point. Many times you may perceive they are contemplating deep dark thoughts but you don't really know, we can't know what another person is thinking n matter how close we are to them but especially in depression because again, the person has faulty thinking.

How do we deal with such a great loss? So deep is the pain because it is filled with "Why?", "How could they?", "If only, I should have.", the pain is unbearable. This loss seems to cause even more isolation for the family. My heart breaks for those families that are dealing with loss through suicide.

The big question is this: if my loved one committed suicide did they still go to heaven?

In my understanding of the Word of God the answer is, if they had accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior then yes, I believe they did go to heaven. I can make this statement because of the character, the grace and mercy that I have personally come to know as attributes of our Father, I believe I have had this confirmed by books and people that I have great respect for in the Christian world. in fact in Tony Cooke's book, "Life after death", he has the account of Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin's mother who became very sick with depression and tried on many accounts to take her own life. She was a Christian, she was very depressed, she believed it was her way out.

If believing a lie and sinning could separate you from the love of God then we could never have been saved to begin with. God's word says, "while we were yet sinners Christ died for the ungodly". Yes, I said sinned above because taking your own life is most definitely a sin, your life is a precious gift, God has a plan for your life and it is NEVER to end it yourself. Taking your life is murder plain and simple. God's Word says we are not to commit murder, and this stands, however; there are so many levels to pain and depression, I would never try to sum up in a page the struggle of the mind and soul.

God knows, He truly does. So, if a person is saved and falls into depression (through believing a lie or through sickness of the mind) I fully believe they are with Christ in Paradise. So you may ask "what are the consequences?". Well I don't think the consequences are equated to punishment however I do think there will be consequences. Salvation is indescribable, known and fully known, standing before Jesus Christ the Lamb of God! I believe you will then know what you have missed on earth. Your life was meant to be a blessing, you have a purpose, God created you at just the right time and you were born to the right parents to give you the exact DNA that only you have. No one can take your place: no one! You are uniquely designed and you have a purpose. I believe we will know and realize we were deceived. We were taken captive by the enemy and we believed him instead of God.

That thought is where God's great mercy and grace come in once again! Jesus will wipe every tear from our face. We are accepted in the beloved, this is grace; so beautiful, so undeserved. This is LOVE. Nothing can separate us from the love of God!

When I think of pain I can't help but think of the God who hears and sees and loves. He knows exactly where you are in your pain. There is nothing hidden from His sight. Remember that God the Father sent His precious Son Jesus Christ to take the sin of the world upon Himself. He suffered a horrible death. He was crucified, He was tortured, He was abandoned, He was betrayed. Crucification was the most painful, horrible way to die...and the Father chose to let His Son do this as payment for our sin. Because of LOVE, His great indescribable love for us, He created us and desires to be in relationship with us.
When sin came in we were separated from God who is Holy and Righteous; there was a division, a separation from our Creator and He had to make a way for us to be restored into holiness and righteousness so He made Him who knew no sin to become sin that we might become the righteousness of Christ. God the Father watched as His precious holy righteous Son willingly laid down His life that we might have life!

So, the Father knows pain, He knows grief, He knows what you are suffering and He is able to bring healing to your broken heart, in fact one of His names in Scripture is Jehovah-Rapha: "The God who heals". One of the ways He heals us is by His Word. "He sent His word and healed His people". The word of God is different than any other word: it is supernatural! God-breathed, God inspired. Because the word is TRUTH - it is LOVE - it is power and strength. God's word has the ability to open our understanding when we read it and hear it and do it! The Spirit of God leads us into all truth. He reveals faulty thinking and shows us the truth. Praise God, His word is called the balm (medicine) of Gilead!

May our Lord Jesus Christ bless you, with love, Linda

Resources for help in preventing suicide: Please speak to your Doctor and/or Pastor - here are some links:http://peoplepreventsuicide.org/

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm